Almost 2 years ago I bought my own domain name, but was too busy/lazy to figure out how to do my own professional website. Well, I've finally figured out how to do a blog on it, so I am switching to a new location.
This "new" (not really new, just different address) is going to be viewed by a lot of folks in my real life (family, friends, clients, co-workers, etc), so I am currently doing A LOT of self-censoring right now...i.e., no more bitching about Mark. I think he is glad I am going to have a blog everyone we know can read. He said I acted secretive about this blog. I'm a bit sad to no longer have a forum to bitch openly about things I am feeling and experiencing, but oh well.
So here is the new address...follow me :)
Oh, and it goes without saying that this is a work-in-progress. I am still trying to figure stuff out and the damn thing won't let me import. Grr.
Attention Lurkers: This would be a great time to introduce yourself.
May 30, 2007
May 29, 2007
Baby Personality Quiz
I found this on The Twinkies blog. Interesting. I thought Carson's profile was right on the money, and Kate's was completely wrong. Of course, it's pretty silly to be assigning predictions on 3 1/2 month old babies!
Carson
He will be very intelligent. Although he is very bright, his shy nature [I can see the shyness already] may keep him from reaching his full potential. He is conservative and reserved [True, True]. You can anticipate a very organized person. In fact, his need for organization is borderline compulsive. He will be the type of person that can’t put things off until tomorrow because it will drive him crazy. In school, if he is given a group project he will slowly take over the project. He doesn’t like things to be done incorrectly and if he can’t have it done his way he will get frustrated. He doesn’t like to be criticized and he has a bit of a superiority complex. If he is angry with you, you will never know. He keeps things to himself but may be secretly vindictive. He will most likely go to college [This is not open for debate in our family.]. He will pursue a job that makes him feel important. He is a hard worker but he may be slow at getting his job done because of his need to check and recheck his work. He may choose a career in electronics, engineering, accounting, aviation, or pharmacology.
Kate
She will be very dependable and responsible; the type that likes to make her parents happy [This was surprising. I would have guessed "hell raiser."]. You can expect her to be able to handle stress and pressure well. She will not be the one you have to worry about. She is sensitive, friendly and caring. She doesn’t like to stand out or draw attention. She is not likely to take a leadership position [She is geneticly linked to me, therefore this won't be true]. She prefers to be the one that works in the background. In her attempt to be likable, she may cave in to peer pressure in her teens. However, she is not rebellious and cares about making her parents happy as much as she does her friends. As an adult, she will likely go to college and pursue a stable job. She is not the type that will flip flop around in her career choices. She will pick something she thinks she will do well at and stick with it. Possible careers are laboratory technician, computer programmer, physical therapist, paralegal, or dental hygienist.
Carson
He will be very intelligent. Although he is very bright, his shy nature [I can see the shyness already] may keep him from reaching his full potential. He is conservative and reserved [True, True]. You can anticipate a very organized person. In fact, his need for organization is borderline compulsive. He will be the type of person that can’t put things off until tomorrow because it will drive him crazy. In school, if he is given a group project he will slowly take over the project. He doesn’t like things to be done incorrectly and if he can’t have it done his way he will get frustrated. He doesn’t like to be criticized and he has a bit of a superiority complex. If he is angry with you, you will never know. He keeps things to himself but may be secretly vindictive. He will most likely go to college [This is not open for debate in our family.]. He will pursue a job that makes him feel important. He is a hard worker but he may be slow at getting his job done because of his need to check and recheck his work. He may choose a career in electronics, engineering, accounting, aviation, or pharmacology.
Kate
She will be very dependable and responsible; the type that likes to make her parents happy [This was surprising. I would have guessed "hell raiser."]. You can expect her to be able to handle stress and pressure well. She will not be the one you have to worry about. She is sensitive, friendly and caring. She doesn’t like to stand out or draw attention. She is not likely to take a leadership position [She is geneticly linked to me, therefore this won't be true]. She prefers to be the one that works in the background. In her attempt to be likable, she may cave in to peer pressure in her teens. However, she is not rebellious and cares about making her parents happy as much as she does her friends. As an adult, she will likely go to college and pursue a stable job. She is not the type that will flip flop around in her career choices. She will pick something she thinks she will do well at and stick with it. Possible careers are laboratory technician, computer programmer, physical therapist, paralegal, or dental hygienist.
Sickos
The entire household has a damn cold. Thanks day care! Let me tell ya, it's NOT fun dealing with two sick twins and a sick husband when you feel like you've been hit by a bus. The house is still largely unpacked and a total mess, and frankly I don't care anymore. I just wish the twins would sleep like adults sleep when they are sick. Ugh, misery!
May 22, 2007
Home Sweet Home
We are finally all moved into the new house. As I look around at the massive sea of boxes, I can't say we are settled in though. The move itself went pretty smoothly. My mom took the twins over to my aunt's house on the other side of town on move day. I thought the movers did a pretty good job until they left and I realized that they just dumped boxes anywhere. I had carefully marked all the boxes as to what room they would go to, and I told the mover that. We found "Kitchen - Pantry" box in my office, "Nursery - Baby Linens" in the kitchen, etc. Grr. Oh well. I'm glad it's over.
The kids will be at day care most of this week, so I can focus on getting us out of the sea of boxes. They are having a rough adjustment right now, and I feel bad for them. First of all, they are at day care now and that's a new experience for them. Now they are in a new house, yet another new experience. And finally, they are in their cribs and out of the Pack-n-Play. When they get home from day care, they both just cling to me. It makes me feel like the worst mama in the world. Of course, the other side of that coin is that because they are so clingy on me right now I can't get any unpacking done and so they have to go to day care. Poor babies. :(
Carson is eating like a pig now too. He went from 4 oz up to 6 oz overnight. He is 3 1/2 months old and actually wearing 3 month old clothes. I can't believe how big he is getting. No one would ever guess he is a preemie. He has a follow-up appointment tomorrow morning with the cardiologist. (Remember, he had a heart valve issue at birth that was corrected with drugs.) I hope all goes well with that. Oh, and everyday his eyes are turning a lighter shade of blue. They may end up lighter than mine (which is odd since Mark has brown eyes).
Miss Kate is loving day care. More so that Carson I think. It seems pretty obvious to me that she is a social butterfly. They tell me that her favorite thing to do at day care is sit in her bouncy seat and watch the older kids (toddlers) run around, scream, play, etc. She gets excited by it, and I am sure she is chomping at the bit to join the fun. She has mastered the tongue game...I stick out my tongue and then she does. She has taken it to the next level though. She can imitate the speed of which I stick out my tongue. If I do it fast, she will too. If I do it slow, she does it slow. If I wiggle my tongue, she will try to. Such a smart girl! I am a little concerned at her size. It seems like Carson is just passing her by now.
Well, I better get to work. I will post photos of the new pad once I get settled in, and once I unpack my own computer (I'm on Mark's right now).
The kids will be at day care most of this week, so I can focus on getting us out of the sea of boxes. They are having a rough adjustment right now, and I feel bad for them. First of all, they are at day care now and that's a new experience for them. Now they are in a new house, yet another new experience. And finally, they are in their cribs and out of the Pack-n-Play. When they get home from day care, they both just cling to me. It makes me feel like the worst mama in the world. Of course, the other side of that coin is that because they are so clingy on me right now I can't get any unpacking done and so they have to go to day care. Poor babies. :(
Carson is eating like a pig now too. He went from 4 oz up to 6 oz overnight. He is 3 1/2 months old and actually wearing 3 month old clothes. I can't believe how big he is getting. No one would ever guess he is a preemie. He has a follow-up appointment tomorrow morning with the cardiologist. (Remember, he had a heart valve issue at birth that was corrected with drugs.) I hope all goes well with that. Oh, and everyday his eyes are turning a lighter shade of blue. They may end up lighter than mine (which is odd since Mark has brown eyes).
Miss Kate is loving day care. More so that Carson I think. It seems pretty obvious to me that she is a social butterfly. They tell me that her favorite thing to do at day care is sit in her bouncy seat and watch the older kids (toddlers) run around, scream, play, etc. She gets excited by it, and I am sure she is chomping at the bit to join the fun. She has mastered the tongue game...I stick out my tongue and then she does. She has taken it to the next level though. She can imitate the speed of which I stick out my tongue. If I do it fast, she will too. If I do it slow, she does it slow. If I wiggle my tongue, she will try to. Such a smart girl! I am a little concerned at her size. It seems like Carson is just passing her by now.
Well, I better get to work. I will post photos of the new pad once I get settled in, and once I unpack my own computer (I'm on Mark's right now).
May 17, 2007
The Twins Make Their Television Debut!
While closing on the new house, we were killing some time by walking around the Georgetown downtown square. A reporter was there do a piece on how the downtown has changed. He filmed the twins and it was aired last night. KXAN (NBC) for all the Austin folks who read this.
If you want to see the twins, email me and I will email you the link. (There isn't a directly link that I can post...or I am just too stupid to know how.) Be sure to include your email addy.
shannonp_1977 (at) yahoo (dot) com
If you want to see the twins, email me and I will email you the link. (There isn't a directly link that I can post...or I am just too stupid to know how.) Be sure to include your email addy.
shannonp_1977 (at) yahoo (dot) com
May 16, 2007
Moving, Ugh
We are closing on our house today (finally!), and then the work begins. The big move is on Friday, but we are spending the next two days painting and having some work done, etc. Man I hate moving! Anyway, I will be away from the blogosphere for a little bit, but here's a ultra quick update...
- The kiddos did okay at their first day of day care on Monday. They were there from 10 AM to 2:30 PM. Honestly, I hated it the entire time. I had Mark's assistant check on them frequently and email me updates. ("Carson was crying, but now he is fine....They are both sleeping...Kate ate 3 ounces, etc.") I am sure she finds this very annoying. I don't know what I think of all of this. The point of day care was so I could relax and get some stuff done. Instead, I worried and thought about them the whole time. They will be going back on Thursday so we can work on the new house.
- Mom's coming back to town on Thursday evening to watch the twins during the big move. I wish she would just retire already. :)
- The twins bought me (via my mother) a beautiful silver "mom" bracelet. Mark brought me white tulips (sentimental reasons behind that) and wrote me a sweet letter. The best Mother's Day gift, however, was my mom watching the twins while Mark and I went out to dinner Saturday night. Of course, we talked about the twins the entire time. I hope that changes one day. I miss non-twin conversation. Afterwards, we cuddled in bed and watched SNL together. Laying in bed and watching TV without having one ear on the baby monitor is my new definition of heaven.
- The twins are loving their Baby Einstein playmat thingie. They are all about reaching, grabbing and knocking things over right now. I swear Kate is on her way to rolling over! She gets so incredibly mad if something is slightly out of her reach that she does anything to get to it. I wonder where she gets that from?! Hmm... :)
May 14, 2007
Mom-to-Mom: Smiles
I am starting to get a little concerned that Kate and Carson are not social smiling much -- well, really, any. Sure they smile in their sleep a lot, but they don't directly smile at me or anyone else. They are now 3 months old (and yes, preemie), and I wish I knew when to expect it. I am really looking forward to the smiles. I need those smiles!
May 13, 2007
Happy Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day...to all of the moms out there...but especially to the new moms and the moms-of twins!May 11, 2007
The house deal holds up
Whew! All is well with the house deal. The underwriter signed off on the new appraisal, so we are good to go. My mom and uncle are coming in from Houston to help us pack up tomorrow morning.
We are closing on Wednesday morning. We are much too exhausted to celebrate.
We are closing on Wednesday morning. We are much too exhausted to celebrate.
May 10, 2007
Carson @ 3 months
Birth
3 monthsThe twins will be 3 months old this weekend. Carson had a rocky start in life, but he is a completely different baby now!
Weight: About 10 1/2 lbs. He is wearing size 1 in diapers and 0-3 months in clothes.
Feedings: 4 oz every 3-4 hours. He is acting like he ready to move up to 4.5 or 5 oz soon.
Favorites: Bath time, his pacifier, bouncy seat, laying on my chest, having his chest rubbed
Least Favorites: Diaper changes, the swing
Issues: Tends to be gassy
Personality: Sweet, secure, passive. When he cries, you know there must be something really wrong.
Areas to Work On: I honestly can't think of anything other than sleeping through the night.
New Things: Loves looking out of the window. He has also discovered blocks...which he loves to grab at and knock down.
Comparison: He is more vocal than Kate. He is making new sounds all the time. He also likes to play with objects and she isn't into that yet. Overall, he seems more independent and laid back compared to his twin sister.
Randomness: He has the fastest growing fingernails in history! I have to cut them every other day or so. When he starts to cry, it sounds like a little motorboat starting up. It's beyond cute!
Kate @ 3 months
Birth
3 monthsThe twins will be 3 months old on Saturday. Miss Kate has come a long way in those three months!
Weight: About 8 lbs. She still wearing Newborn size diapers, and the clothes are still too big for her.
Feedings: Usually about 3 oz every 3 hours. We are still working in stretching the feedings out to 3 hours though.
Favorites: Bath time, laying on my chest, her new swing, being held, cuddling with brother on the sofa
Least Favorites: Pacifier, excessively long car trips, having to wait more than one minute for her bottle, being put down when she's not ready
Issues: Tends to have a touch of reflux which requires a bit of Mylanta or else she may throw up
Personality: In the past few weeks I am seeing more changes in her. She is getting better at self-soothing, so there are less screaming fits. She is extremely sweet and happy when she's getting exactly what she wants, when she wants it. She is not the diva she once was though!
Areas to Work On: Stretching out her feedings and increasing her ounces. So far, she has shown no increase in either.
New Things: She is just now liking her Boppy pillow. She is also discovering the great outdoors like her brother. She sounds different...different sounds, coos, even a slightly different sounding cry.
Comparison: She is more visual than Carson. She can be distracted by music or other sounds. She is also starting to imitate me...like when I stick my tongue out at her, she will stick her tongue out too. Overall, she is more clingy and emotional (if that's possible in a baby) than her brother.
Randomness: I've never cut her fingernails before. She is doing much less chirping in her sleep now. She is no longer a noisy baby, and it happened overnight! She's never worn a bow before. In fact, I don't even own any bows or headbands for her.
My "Unwanted" Twins
Both of Nanny Mary's daughters resigned from the law firm's day care upon hearing that my twins would be joining the day care. Talk about not feeling welcome! The law partners are thrilled that it saved them the dirty task of firing them. Their last day is May 23rd. I feel uncomfortable now taking my twins to day care on Monday knowing they are so damn unwanted as to force two uneducated-no-other-options girls into quitting a ridiculously high paying with benefits baby-sitting gig. Mark says I am being stupid, but it's bothering me.
Stupid, silly girls. The twins are only going up there Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for about 3 hours per day....and I guarantee they would probably sleep the entire time. Grr.
Screw'em.
There are only 5 children (counting my twins) in the day care. My twins (3 months old), a 5-month old singleton baby, and 2 2-year olds. The babies and the toddlers are kept completely separate. I don't know much of anything about day care, but that seems like a good ratio to me. The firm had plans to hire a third person in June, so it would be 3 adults to 5 children. Oh and the receptionist is pregnant and due in August, so that would be an additional baby. That would make it a 2-to-1 ratio.
Blah, Blah, Blah. Not sure what to do about Monday though. Any thoughts?
Stupid, silly girls. The twins are only going up there Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for about 3 hours per day....and I guarantee they would probably sleep the entire time. Grr.
Screw'em.
There are only 5 children (counting my twins) in the day care. My twins (3 months old), a 5-month old singleton baby, and 2 2-year olds. The babies and the toddlers are kept completely separate. I don't know much of anything about day care, but that seems like a good ratio to me. The firm had plans to hire a third person in June, so it would be 3 adults to 5 children. Oh and the receptionist is pregnant and due in August, so that would be an additional baby. That would make it a 2-to-1 ratio.
Blah, Blah, Blah. Not sure what to do about Monday though. Any thoughts?
May 9, 2007
The New Normal
- I think the REALLY rough adjustment period may be coming to an end. I am getting used to this new life with the twins. I have figured out how to sneak in naps, and they are pretty solid with the 3-hour feedings (no more every hour or two feedings). Kate is getting better and better at self-soothing, and her screaming fits are less frequent. Of course, I still have some pretty awful days. I am still horribly sleep deprived. I still miss my freedom....but I am also getting used to this new normal.
- The twins will be starting day care at Mark's firm on Monday. They will only be there half a day, and all of this is just a try out period. I am looking forward to it, but I know I will miss them terribly. There may be some days when I only drop off one of the twins and have some one-on-one time with the other. I feel like I need to cuddle with Carson more. He is always giving up his mommy time due to his demanding sister.
- I know I vowed not to talk smack about Nanny Mary, but it just not working out with her. She is trying to drag Mark and I into a staffing drama at Mark's day care (remember her daughters run it). It has turned into a big mess, and she has been trying to bully me and guilt me into not taking them to day care. She has managed to piss off the law partners, and everything is tense. When I told her that I need to return to work and cited the fact that we spend $600 a month on formula, she said, "Well, if you used your breasts the way God intended you wouldn't have that problem, now would you?" And with that I said bye-bye to Nanny Mary and hello to part-time day care.
- We are having some other major drama in our house buying situation...appraisal issues to be exact. We are scheduled to close a week from today, and now I am not even sure if this deal will hold together. *Sigh* We are waiting to hear. I hate all of this 11th hour crap.
- I did my blood work today. I will hopefully hear something soon as to what may be revealed with that. Since my doc doubled my diabetes meds, I feel 100% better. Whew! I just hope there isn't something more serious at work here.
May 7, 2007
Pedi Appointment: 3 Months Old
KATE
Birth (2/12)...2 lbs, 11 oz.; 16.25 inches
NICU Discharge (3/15)...4 lbs, 4 oz.
3/20...4 lbs, 8 oz.
3/30...4 lbs, 14 oz.
4/13...6 lbs, 3 oz.; 18.5 inches
5/7...7 lbs, 11 oz.; 21 inches
CARSON
Birth (2/12)...4 lbs, 4 oz.; 17.5 inches
NICU Discharge (3/15)...5 lbs, 13 oz.
3/20...6 lbs, 2 oz.
3/30...6 lbs, 13 oz.
4/13...8 lbs, 0 oz.; 21 inches
5/7...10 lbs, 0 oz. (I forgot his height!!) :(
Carson is now off of the preemie growth chart and on the regular (full-term) chart. He has pretty much caught up with his full-term singleton counterparts...almost.
They had their big toes pricked to test their blood's iron levels. Kate, of course, has a massive meltdown, and Carson hardly even noticed what had happened.
Birth (2/12)...2 lbs, 11 oz.; 16.25 inches
NICU Discharge (3/15)...4 lbs, 4 oz.
3/20...4 lbs, 8 oz.
3/30...4 lbs, 14 oz.
4/13...6 lbs, 3 oz.; 18.5 inches
5/7...7 lbs, 11 oz.; 21 inches
CARSON
Birth (2/12)...4 lbs, 4 oz.; 17.5 inches
NICU Discharge (3/15)...5 lbs, 13 oz.
3/20...6 lbs, 2 oz.
3/30...6 lbs, 13 oz.
4/13...8 lbs, 0 oz.; 21 inches
5/7...10 lbs, 0 oz. (I forgot his height!!) :(
Carson is now off of the preemie growth chart and on the regular (full-term) chart. He has pretty much caught up with his full-term singleton counterparts...almost.
They had their big toes pricked to test their blood's iron levels. Kate, of course, has a massive meltdown, and Carson hardly even noticed what had happened.
May 5, 2007
Health Update...Still Recovering
The one thing I don't talk much about on my blog is my health. This posting is an exception. I am posting this because I know there are other pregnant-with-twins women who read this, and who knows about the lurking population. Maybe this will help someone else out there in the blogosphere. I sure am happy to find out why I've been sweating like a whore in church...
I think everyone knows I am a diabetic. I was a "mild" diabetic before becoming pregnant, and then it got very bad during my pregnancy. I was taking an ass-load of insulin injections (no pun intended) and all that other fun stuff. I also think everyone knows that I had pre-eclampsia -- which resulted in my twins being born at 32 weeks -- and I was put on hospital bed rest and given the two powerful steroid shots to quickly develop my twins' lung before birth.
Immediately after birth, my glucose numbers were great again. The last time I took an insulin shot was the night before I gave birth. Since then I have been on 1000 mg of Metformin per day. My numbers remained good...until 2 weeks ago. Now my numbers are sky high (i.e., morning fasting reading was 192!). My feet were becoming more and more numb. My blood pressure wasn't coming down like it should have after birth. Oh, and since the steroid shots in the hospital I have been having severe hot flashes....especially at night.
So, in a nut shell, my body is falling apart. On top of the sleep deprivation and all the other adjustments to life with twins, I felt like shit. I knew in my gut something was very wrong, but I was just too stressed, tired and busy to do much about it.
I finally went into the doctor (endocrinologist) on Friday. My blood pressure was finally good (118/78), but I had mysteriously gained 14 lbs in a month! (I had originally lost all of my pregnancy weight in the 12 days post-birth.) I am doing lab work on Tuesday because there are signs of possible kidney and/or liver damage (weight gain, not urinating often, etc.). He explained that it could take 6-9 months post-birth for my body to recover from the pre-eclampsia and steroid shots. The steroid shots could have a longer impact on me than I could have imagined. He said the dosage I was given since I was carrying twins was massive. Insulin is a natural hormone in the body, so my diabetes is also being affected by the steroid shots...as are the damn hot flashes. AND, I still have not gotten my first post-birth period...even though I gave birth almost 3 months ago, and stopped breastfeeding 2 1/2 months ago (translation: hormone issues).
I am mentioning all of this because a lot of mommy bloggers don't talk a lot about the post-birth physical recovering. I thought the hot flashes, weight gain, etc. were just further evidence that I was going crazy during the adjustment period.
So if any of the new moms out there had the steroid shots, don't be surprised if you find yourself sweating all the time, having high blood sugar numbers or having period issues. Those shots probably saved my twins' lives so I have NO REGRETS on getting it -- obviously -- but I just wish I would have been told to expect some of the crap I have been feeling lately.
Anyway, just a heads up.
I think everyone knows I am a diabetic. I was a "mild" diabetic before becoming pregnant, and then it got very bad during my pregnancy. I was taking an ass-load of insulin injections (no pun intended) and all that other fun stuff. I also think everyone knows that I had pre-eclampsia -- which resulted in my twins being born at 32 weeks -- and I was put on hospital bed rest and given the two powerful steroid shots to quickly develop my twins' lung before birth.
Immediately after birth, my glucose numbers were great again. The last time I took an insulin shot was the night before I gave birth. Since then I have been on 1000 mg of Metformin per day. My numbers remained good...until 2 weeks ago. Now my numbers are sky high (i.e., morning fasting reading was 192!). My feet were becoming more and more numb. My blood pressure wasn't coming down like it should have after birth. Oh, and since the steroid shots in the hospital I have been having severe hot flashes....especially at night.
So, in a nut shell, my body is falling apart. On top of the sleep deprivation and all the other adjustments to life with twins, I felt like shit. I knew in my gut something was very wrong, but I was just too stressed, tired and busy to do much about it.
I finally went into the doctor (endocrinologist) on Friday. My blood pressure was finally good (118/78), but I had mysteriously gained 14 lbs in a month! (I had originally lost all of my pregnancy weight in the 12 days post-birth.) I am doing lab work on Tuesday because there are signs of possible kidney and/or liver damage (weight gain, not urinating often, etc.). He explained that it could take 6-9 months post-birth for my body to recover from the pre-eclampsia and steroid shots. The steroid shots could have a longer impact on me than I could have imagined. He said the dosage I was given since I was carrying twins was massive. Insulin is a natural hormone in the body, so my diabetes is also being affected by the steroid shots...as are the damn hot flashes. AND, I still have not gotten my first post-birth period...even though I gave birth almost 3 months ago, and stopped breastfeeding 2 1/2 months ago (translation: hormone issues).
I am mentioning all of this because a lot of mommy bloggers don't talk a lot about the post-birth physical recovering. I thought the hot flashes, weight gain, etc. were just further evidence that I was going crazy during the adjustment period.
So if any of the new moms out there had the steroid shots, don't be surprised if you find yourself sweating all the time, having high blood sugar numbers or having period issues. Those shots probably saved my twins' lives so I have NO REGRETS on getting it -- obviously -- but I just wish I would have been told to expect some of the crap I have been feeling lately.
Anyway, just a heads up.
May 3, 2007
It's Pitty Party Time...Woo Hoo
Before babies (taken late April 2006). Umm, this photo is more "suggestive" than intended. Mark took it because I wanted to show one of my girlfriends that I finally found a place that waxed my brows to my liking. Anyway, notice how I have a jawline? Make-up on? Clean straight hair? Some evidence of playfulness and life?
Current (taken in Houston last week with Kate). Glasses, much fatter face, wild looking brows, out-of-control hair...looking and feeling like I had just been hit my a truck. Well, at least I had on some lip gloss.
I have been feeling a lot better this week thanks in part to Nanny Mary and being able to sleep between nighttime feedings (the twins are holding strong at 3 hours between chow times). But I still feel pretty yuck. I don't think I have ever felt or looked so horrible in my entire life. I've noticed that I am now wearing the official "mom attire" all the time now....yoga pants (they are comfy and fit), over-sized t-shirt (to hide my post-pregnant-with-twins-flabby-gut) with formula stains on the left shoulder thanks to spit up, no make-up (and I look really shitty with no make-up), air-dried hair pulled back in a bun (i.e., frizzy, style-less, but grateful I at least got to shower), flip-flops (but no pedicure), and glasses (instead of my contacts).
Before I had the babies, I remember seeing women wearing the mom attire in the grocery store and thinking to myself, 'Wow, she needs a day off.' Of course, at that time I was probably standing in the express lane with a 12-pack of Diet Coke in one arm, talking to a client on my cell phone, and trying to get to a sales meeting ASAP...all polished, clean, well-rested, and put together....and stupidly thinking I needed the day off!My how things can change in a year. Despite all of my bitching, it's been a good change though. I can't imagine my life without the twins now. On those rare days I actually get to leave the house to run errands, I miss the babies the whole time. They are growing fast now. They are starting to sleep longer and be more expressive. I am trying to find a way to incorporate a few small elements of my former life before babies into my new life with the babies. Not sure how or what just yet...but getting my fat ass to the gym a few times a week and getting a hair-cut are pretty high on my list right now.
May 1, 2007
I Heart My Nanny
I vow right here and now to never talk smack about my nanny again. The woman is a miracle worker and -- more importantly -- I NEED her! God Bless Nanny Mary!
I don't need anti-depressants. I need sleep!
Nanny Mary came over at 9 AM and stayed until 3 PM. I slept from 9 AM until 1 PM, and then took an hour drive just to get some fresh hair. I feel like a new person. I feel like my old self again.
I don't know what she does to them, but every time she comes they are good the rest of the day for me. We talked a lot about putting them on a schedule and stretching out the time between feedings. I am also going to have her come an extra day during the week, and extending some of her normal time here.
Bottom line: I don't care what she costs anymore because my health, my sanity, and my marriage are worth a lot more than $15 per hour.
I just thought I would post something positive for a change. I know some of you were worried I was about to drop the twins off at the nearest fire station or something. :)
Oh -- brace yourself -- Kate slept from 7:45 PM to 2 AM last night!! She got up at 2 AM, I fed her, she went right back to bed. I couldn't believe it! I hope it wasn't a fluke.
I don't need anti-depressants. I need sleep!
Nanny Mary came over at 9 AM and stayed until 3 PM. I slept from 9 AM until 1 PM, and then took an hour drive just to get some fresh hair. I feel like a new person. I feel like my old self again.
I don't know what she does to them, but every time she comes they are good the rest of the day for me. We talked a lot about putting them on a schedule and stretching out the time between feedings. I am also going to have her come an extra day during the week, and extending some of her normal time here.
Bottom line: I don't care what she costs anymore because my health, my sanity, and my marriage are worth a lot more than $15 per hour.
I just thought I would post something positive for a change. I know some of you were worried I was about to drop the twins off at the nearest fire station or something. :)
Oh -- brace yourself -- Kate slept from 7:45 PM to 2 AM last night!! She got up at 2 AM, I fed her, she went right back to bed. I couldn't believe it! I hope it wasn't a fluke.
Illogical Ramblings...and too tired to care
I think my husband is on the brink of doing some kind of intervention on me. The last two days have been tough on me, but what's new at this point. I am starting to sound like a broken record. I truly think this level of exhaustion that I have been experiencing for 7 weeks now is making me lose my mind. There was a lot of discussion between Mark and I about the possibility of starting the twins in day care soon. On a very limited part-time basis (like 2 mornings a week). This, of course, led to massive guilt on my part and that led to half a day of crying. It seems that as soon as I start to think I really need to call my OB and have him put me on anti-depressants, I finally get 3+ hours of consecutive sleep and I wake up feeling like a new person. Mark has been great the past few days. I think he finally pulled his head out of his ass and realized how lucky he was to have a week off from the babies. And I think he is worried his wife is going insane, and if that happened he would really be screwed. Whatever his motivation, he has been a lot better.
I read a great line yesterday that sums up how I am feeling about motherhood right now..."I'm straddling the line between Donna Reed and Joan Crawford."
I had a long phone chat with my pedi's nurse....mostly about how Kate is driving us crazy and we are worried that something is wrong with her. We also discussed the possibility of part-time day care. We don't think she has acid reflux or colic. She is just fussy. Period. She also told us that if Kate wants me to hold her, then I need to hold her. Babies are establishing trust right now and that is based on their needs being met. I can't spoil Kate at this age by holding her all the time, but I can do damage by not filling her needs (i.e., being held). This is something Mark needed to hear because he is still stuck on this "don't spoil the babies" crap, but it doesn't address the fact that I can't and don't want to hold Kate 24/7. (Oh, and I tried using a sling with Kate today...she hated it. She wants to be vertical on my chest.)
I am going to hold off on day care as long as I can and try to get my Nanny here more often...even though she is expensive. But I also refuse to feel guilty about it either. The same family members who aren't offering to help me out are the same ones making feel guilty about part-time day care. I don't know why this has been bothering me so much lately. I've never been the type to give a damn what people have thought about me or any of my decisions, so I don't know why I would care now...but I have been. I've also decided to not be stupid and try to do this move into the new house on my own. We are hiring movers to pack us and move us. It's worth the price to me. The idea that I don't have to pack up our entire house on my own has taken a HUGE stress weight off my shoulders.
In other news...we may move our closing date on the new house up a week to May 11th. The sellers are wanting that, and it doesn't matter to us either way. We should find out tomorrow.
I read a great line yesterday that sums up how I am feeling about motherhood right now..."I'm straddling the line between Donna Reed and Joan Crawford."
I had a long phone chat with my pedi's nurse....mostly about how Kate is driving us crazy and we are worried that something is wrong with her. We also discussed the possibility of part-time day care. We don't think she has acid reflux or colic. She is just fussy. Period. She also told us that if Kate wants me to hold her, then I need to hold her. Babies are establishing trust right now and that is based on their needs being met. I can't spoil Kate at this age by holding her all the time, but I can do damage by not filling her needs (i.e., being held). This is something Mark needed to hear because he is still stuck on this "don't spoil the babies" crap, but it doesn't address the fact that I can't and don't want to hold Kate 24/7. (Oh, and I tried using a sling with Kate today...she hated it. She wants to be vertical on my chest.)
I am going to hold off on day care as long as I can and try to get my Nanny here more often...even though she is expensive. But I also refuse to feel guilty about it either. The same family members who aren't offering to help me out are the same ones making feel guilty about part-time day care. I don't know why this has been bothering me so much lately. I've never been the type to give a damn what people have thought about me or any of my decisions, so I don't know why I would care now...but I have been. I've also decided to not be stupid and try to do this move into the new house on my own. We are hiring movers to pack us and move us. It's worth the price to me. The idea that I don't have to pack up our entire house on my own has taken a HUGE stress weight off my shoulders.
In other news...we may move our closing date on the new house up a week to May 11th. The sellers are wanting that, and it doesn't matter to us either way. We should find out tomorrow.
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