I have been on edge today. Okay...bitchy is the better word. I tend to get like that when I am under extreme stress and scared at the same time. It seems like everyone has a damn opinion about the situation, and it's pissing me off. We have been bombarded with phone calls over the past two days, and the calls usually start off with the caller saying, "Tell me everything!" I know people mean well, but throughout my pregnancy I have sent out group emails that have detailed all major changes and whatnot. So everyone knows what's going on and I don't feel like retelling it 50 times in 50 calls. Never before in my life have I felt a stronger urge to be left alone as I have this weekend. I even wish my mother wasn't here. I want to disconnect the phones. The other bizarre item that has been pissing off both me and Hubby is how everyone in the free world is requesting a freaking tour of the NICU once the babies arrive. They don't even half-ass attempt to hide their true intentions...
"I've never seen a 3 pound baby before!"
"I'm dying to see how teeny tiny all those babies are!"
"I can't believe you are giving birth at 32 weeks! Do you know that's two months premature?! I want to see what a 32 week old baby looks like!"
Etc.
And I'm not talking about immediate family members. I'm talking about my husband's office manager -- who we do not know socially and who just had a baby of her own in December. Very distant relatives and even a former neighbor. It takes everything I have in me not to yell FUCK YOU into the phone. How dare people treat my babies -- who will be fighting and struggling for their own lives -- like a damn circus sideshow.
To be very honest, I wish this whole matter was a private affair. I wish it was just me and hubby. No family in the waiting room. No friends travelling across the state for this. No one. Just us. We have people calling wanting directions (try MapQuest people!). We have people calling for hotel suggestions. I hate it. I hate all of it. I just want to be left alone. This is a high-risk, high-stress, emotional thing for us.
I had no idea I would feel like this. I guess it's the last surprise of pregnancy. The bad aspect to having a birth planned for a few days is that it gives people plenty of time to bug you and make plans to bug you even more in person...when my focus should be on the condition of my babies, breastfeeding (which, yes, I will HAVE TO do while they are in NICU), and my own recovery after surgery. I am pretty sure I am going to tell the nurses to block people from coming into my post-surgery room.
And it amazes me how people tell me these stories of horrible c-sections. In the past two days, I've heard from a friend's cousin that it felt like she was being sawed in half. I've also heard from a friend of a friend of my mother-in-law's that the spinal didn't work completely and she could feel most of the surgery. And the stories continue. Is this really the kind of shit you tell a woman right before she has that same surgery? Either I am surrounded by the dumbest people God ever created or people just have no tact or common sense at all.
So, like I said, I'm on edge today. I am no longer answering my phone. Hubby answers and tells people I am napping. I just want to cry and be shut into my bedroom. I will post something tomorrow morning before I head to the hospital. Oh how I wish they could give me a light sedative because today I feel like climbing a clock tower and taking some people out. (Figure of speech, of course)
And the babies have been kicking up a storm today. I think they know they are about to get evicted and aren't happy about it!
"I've never seen a 3 pound baby before!"
"I'm dying to see how teeny tiny all those babies are!"
"I can't believe you are giving birth at 32 weeks! Do you know that's two months premature?! I want to see what a 32 week old baby looks like!"
Etc.
And I'm not talking about immediate family members. I'm talking about my husband's office manager -- who we do not know socially and who just had a baby of her own in December. Very distant relatives and even a former neighbor. It takes everything I have in me not to yell FUCK YOU into the phone. How dare people treat my babies -- who will be fighting and struggling for their own lives -- like a damn circus sideshow.
To be very honest, I wish this whole matter was a private affair. I wish it was just me and hubby. No family in the waiting room. No friends travelling across the state for this. No one. Just us. We have people calling wanting directions (try MapQuest people!). We have people calling for hotel suggestions. I hate it. I hate all of it. I just want to be left alone. This is a high-risk, high-stress, emotional thing for us.
I had no idea I would feel like this. I guess it's the last surprise of pregnancy. The bad aspect to having a birth planned for a few days is that it gives people plenty of time to bug you and make plans to bug you even more in person...when my focus should be on the condition of my babies, breastfeeding (which, yes, I will HAVE TO do while they are in NICU), and my own recovery after surgery. I am pretty sure I am going to tell the nurses to block people from coming into my post-surgery room.
And it amazes me how people tell me these stories of horrible c-sections. In the past two days, I've heard from a friend's cousin that it felt like she was being sawed in half. I've also heard from a friend of a friend of my mother-in-law's that the spinal didn't work completely and she could feel most of the surgery. And the stories continue. Is this really the kind of shit you tell a woman right before she has that same surgery? Either I am surrounded by the dumbest people God ever created or people just have no tact or common sense at all.
So, like I said, I'm on edge today. I am no longer answering my phone. Hubby answers and tells people I am napping. I just want to cry and be shut into my bedroom. I will post something tomorrow morning before I head to the hospital. Oh how I wish they could give me a light sedative because today I feel like climbing a clock tower and taking some people out. (Figure of speech, of course)
And the babies have been kicking up a storm today. I think they know they are about to get evicted and aren't happy about it!
1 comment:
Hang in there, Shannon! You're doing great. btw- my c-section was fine and painless, the spinal was excellent and the pain meds I received afterward definitely did the trick. You have every right to tell people that you'll need them to wait to visit you. Just figure out what/ who you need at your side, the rest can wait. Have your hubby and mom field the requests for visits for you-
"No, we're sorry Shannon and the babies are exhausted/ feeding/ bonding/ whatever. Next month would really be better for us. Now then, if you'd like to help out, you could grocery shop/ clean the house/ run these errands for us."
This is a huge undertaking for you, your experience and you & your husband's babies. I'm sorry people have been so lacking in understanding and compassion about that. Sucky.
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