Improvement

Things have been improving in my world lately. Nothing drastic, but better. It really boils down to two factors:

(1) The babies have increased the amount they are eating. This means they are sleeping for longer stretches of time. They are still doing the occasional 2-hour feeding, but the majority of the time they are lasting 3 and 4 hours. This gives me time to do things around the house, have some down time, and cat nap. I have had to learn the art of cat napping. A good 30-minute nap can give me enough fuel to function longer. Kate is still my -- ahem -- "challenging" twin, but she is also more alert now. When she is alert and happy, she is the cutest baby on the planet. She is very bright-eyed and inquisitive. Carson is my sweet, cuddly twin. He is the kind of baby all pregnant women dream about. He doesn't seem as interested in the world around him as his sister is. He seems content just being held, talked to, and looking at his holder.

(2) I have surrendered. It has taken me 3-weeks to do so, but I have finally surrendered to the idea that this is my life right now. I am taking it day-by-day and reminding myself that this time period is just temporary. I miss working. Well, not so much working, but I miss seeing other adults, having a reason to get dressed in the mornings, and just simply leaving the house. But I am trying not to dwell on all that. I am trying (though not always successfully) to focus on how much the twins are growing and changing on a daily basis, how cute they are, how much they need me right now, etc.

I guess a third factor would be confidence. Before the twins came home, I was 100% baby ignorant. I had never been around babies. I had never taken care of babies. I knew nothing. So, I stressed over everything. After 3-weeks though, I have more confidence in the situation. I no longer stress like I did before. I no longer drop everything and run when one of them makes the slightest sound. Talk about a crash course!