We had another rocky day with Carson in the NICU. We got a call at the crack of dawn this morning that he had thrown up bile overnight, so he would be having some tests and x-rays done. So we rushed up there. To make a long story short, we still aren't completely sure what's wrong with him and they will continue to closely monitor him, but he may just have severe gas. His tummy is slightly bloated looking, his blood work came back perfect, and it looked like gas on the x-rays. He won't be eating for a few days...they want to make sure it's not an infection in the intestines.
*Sigh* I am just spent. I did double duty last night since Hubby claimed to be so tired. So much for our new schedule. Today was going to be my catch-up-on-rest day, but the events with Carson prevented that.
Kate is doing great...just getting her sleep in her little box. I held her for over two hours last night while Carson slept. It's amazing that a little girl that small could be so tough.
She's tougher than I have been lately. I'm now pretty sure I have some mild form of "Baby Blues." Apparently I have most of the signs: twin birth, pre-eclampsia, diabetes or gestational diabetes, NICU stress, pre-term labor/early delivery, difficulty breastfeeding, loss of appetite, insomnia, exhaustion, getting easily irritated, and crying often. Yes on all accounts. I read today that over 85% of mothers of multiples experience some degree of "baby blues." It has something to do with the immediate drop in estrogen and progesterone levels after birth. It usually manifests itself 3-4 days after birth and is gone by 3 weeks post-birth. It's not postpartum depression. It's a hormone adjustment. Postpartum depression is much more serious...suicidal thoughts, hating the babies, etc. I am definitely NOT like that. I just find myself crying a lot, exhausted, and my husband seems to be pissing me off a lot more. Not to mention I've snapped at my mother, mother-in-law, and a few nurses. I can even tell a change in my tone when I re-read my blog posts.
For some stupid reason it's taboo to talk about. I can't even find other women who have blogged about their experiences with it.
The strange thing about the crying is that it's usually irrational. I start to sob and then 10 minutes later I feel great again and I can't remember what set off the crying. It's the damnest thing.
Hubby let me nap this evening and he is up visiting the kiddos tonight. I was finally getting some sleep when my mother-in-law called...again. Grrr. Oh, and I'm trying this herbal stuff recommended by my OB's office called More Milk Plus. It's suppose to help jump start the milk production. I am having my incision checked tomorrow at the OB's...should be fun. ;)
2 comments:
Hang in there. What you are going through is in NO way normal and your feelings are completely justified!!!
Those babies are still sooo adorable!
It sounds like you are doing an amazing job dealing with all of this, seriously! I would think it was odd if you didn't feel irritable and sad sometimes. And yeah, not getting enough sleep? Or being awoken when you are finally getting some? Wretched.
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