Not ready to say goodbye to the big, hard belly

I am such an emotional wreck right now. Hubby crashed early, which left me plenty of time to sit and really digest all of the new developments. That led to me sitting in my dimly lit home office, looking at my collection of belly and ultrasound photos, and crying. I guess I am not ready for my pregnancy to be over with. I have truly loved it. I've come to realize there are two types of pregnant women...those who love it and those who don't. I am definitely the former. I have been amazed and amused at how drastically my body has changed. I love the late night kicking sprees. I loved my less-than-fashionable maternity clothes. I loved everything about the whole experience. I feel protective of these little babies, and always felt re-assured that at least they were in my belly...so I had some level of control over their well-being and safety. Now they are about the enter the world -- two months early -- and the safety of my belly has now turned on them. They will better off out in the world than inside of me. The only thing that has stopped me from having just a total emotional melt down is the excitement of finally seeing them soon. The big mystery will be solved. I hope we (docs included) are making the right decision in taking them out now. In some bizarre way, I feel cheated. I feel cheated out of two additional months of being pregnant -- even though I knew it was unrealistic to think I could carry to 40 weeks. I feel cheated out of the experience of going into labor, water breaking, etc. I know the NICU experience will make me feel cheated too since I won't get to see, hold, bond with them like other new moms. I am sure I sound ridiculous right now, but I'm just so emotional right now. I can't help it.

I hope they don't come tomorrow. I hope I can hold out until Monday. I need a few more days, but I've learned during the last two troubled weeks that I really don't have much control over anything anymore.

To all the pregnant-with-twins chicks out there in the blogosphere that read my blog, here is some advice I've learned through this experience...

• No matter how smooth everything has gone in your pregnancy, really start to watch your activity level post week 28. If possible, put yourself on self-imposed modified bed rest.
• Keep on eye out for excessive swelling of the hands, feet, and ankles. Don't just write it off as typical pregnancy stuff.
• It's never too early to get the nursery and baby(ies) gear ready. Things can happen very fast in a twin pregnancy.
• Don't compare your experience and time line to friends and family who have only had singleton pregnancies. It's truly not the same.
• When the OB tells you to call if there has been a change of any kind on fetal movement, he/she isn't kidding. CALL THEM. Don't feel stupid doing it either. Too much or too little activity is a problem.
• Keep a blog. It's the best journal in the world, and you will find a whole community of other women experiencing the same thing you are at the same time.

I know I could think of a million other little things, but I need to get to bed early tonight. Hopefully I will be able to post good things tomorrow, and get myself ready for the big event on Monday afternoon.