August 28, 2006

8 Weeks & Terrified of Miscarriage

I know I have been horrible about blogging in the past month, but my whole world has been all about pregnancy since finding out on August 1st. I have been nervous about talking about the pregnancy publicly because, frankly, I am scared to death of miscarrying. I am still scared and I am not out of the woods yet.

[They say the highest risk of miscarriage is between weeks 7 - 11. I am 8 1/2 weeks pregnant, so I still have another month of worrying about this!]

Some days I feel pregnant (i.e., extreme fatigue, sore boobs, etc.) and other days (like today) I have no signs of pregnancy and I begin to worry. It is a total mind fuck. It took us three years to get this pregnancy, and I am just terrified of losing it.

I have my first appointment with my OB tomorrow morning. They make you wait until you are at least 8 weeks along before they will see you. They will do a complete physical, a Pap smear, and an ultrasound to see how things look. Hopefully they will also try to hear the heartbeat.

I just desperately need some evidence. Some proof. Some reassurance.

Hubby is going with me to the doc appointment. He has been great -- protective and sweet.

I will update tomorrow once I know what's going on. Wish me luck.

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