Nauseating Self-Promotion

After more than a year of saying I would, I am finally making a half-serious effort to hire someone to design my business web site. So, the task of writing the content has begun. To get ideas I looked at other Realtors’ sites, and at the end of the day this is what I essentially came up with:

Shannon is a dedicated, passionate, and market-savvy professional who puts her clients satisfaction before all else. Her attention to detail, superior people skills, broad knowledge of the real estate industry as a whole, and her pure determination to indulge her clients with first-class service sets her apart. With a background in journalism and public relations, Shannon understands the power of creative, well-organized and highly effective marketing and offers customized marketing plans that maximize property exposure to the most qualified buyers. A real estate transaction is really about managing people, their desires and their finances. It is an intricate and consequential negotiation. Shannon knows that it is not only important to secure the most able buyer, but also the one that is most likely to close the deal. When so much is at stake, Shannon is the only you want to represent you. Her fair yet aggressive negotiating style and protectiveness of her clients’ best interest and ultimately, their assets, has gained her respect with colleagues and clients alike. Shannon knows that every transaction represents the most important purchase or sale a person can make, and she takes every precaution to ensure that communication is impeccable with all parties involved from beginning to end. Whether it’s patiently guiding first time buyers through this exciting process or following through with clients’ needs long after the transaction is over, Shannon’s warm yet efficient business style will turn you, too, into a client for life.

I can’t believe I actually wrote that shameless crap. First of all, it’s terribly creepy to write about yourself in the third-person – I am just not as comfortable with that as say Bob Dole or well, take your pick of most of the current NFL players. Shannon feels like an asshole doing that. Secondly, it is over-flowing with buzzwords. You could almost make a drinking game out of it.

Anyway, I know I am just rambling about this, but, damn, now I really feel like I have sold out. There has got to be a better, more dignified way of drumming up new clients.