My little Valentines

Kate loves "kangaroo care" with me! All of the direct skin-to-skin contact is great for both of us.

I am feeling much better today. Yesterday was the worst physically and emotionally. I am still sore and walking like an old lady, but it is much better. I was either not prepared or just kidding myself as to how painful life can be after major abdominal surgery. But like I said, today is better day and I have new pain meds.

I never thought it was possible to fall in love so quickly. They don't look or act anything like I envisioned they would while pregnant, but that makes it all the better. The NICU nurses have me doing "kangaroo care" for at least one hour a day with Kate. Once Carson gets better stabilized, I will do this with him too. They put her on my bare chest (no bra or anything)...they cover her with blankets that have been warmed in the microwave...and I just hold her. She listens to my heart beat, breathing, pumping blood, the sound of my voice...all the things she had while in the womb. It's amazing how she knows me. She clings to me. I'm all she know...me and her twin brother I should say. She is just the sweetest baby girl in the world. She throws a fit when the nurses reposition her, and they all say she is feisty and a fighter. She is a bit yellowish in color, so they are putting her under the special lights tomorrow.

Carson is having to fight more. He has fluid on the lungs. Today we found out that he has a minor heart murmur, but it's something that he will correct himself or they can give him a shot to correct it. It's a tiny hole that naturally closes late in a pregnancy. His didn't close yet because he was born so early. Once the murmur is fixed, he will be able to pump the rest of the fluid off his lungs on his own. So he is closely monitored. I am upset that I haven't gotten to hold him yet...or even gotten a good look at him. He is covered with all kinds of tubes, masks, etc. It makes me feel guilty that Kate is getting all the attention from us right now and he isn't.

It just kills me when I hear him cry...like when the nurses are re-attaching his IV. I hate that I can't hold him and comfort him...or at least hurt the mean nurse who is hurting him. :)

Carson definitely looks like my family...even down to the feet! I can't wait to see all of him. We still don't even know what his eye color is!

Anyway, I will post more later. I am about to shower and head back up to the NICU. I am going home tomorrow around lunch.