Honking: Now I am not some backwoods Southern who has never ventured north of the Mason-Dixon line. I have traveled to numerous locations, including some extensive time up in NYC. And, yes, I have noticed that in every northern city there seems to be a lot of car honking as a primary means of communication while behind the wheel. However, it always amuses me. It’s always the biggest reminder than I am not in Texas anymore. When you are south of the Red River and you decide to lay on the horn, you damn well better be prepared to engage in a gunfight. You just simply don’t use your horn here – especially when stopped at a red light when there’s an 8 and 10 chance the driver being honked out will get out of the car and attempt an ass beating! Your smartest move is to honk on the highway when you have a fairly good chance of out-running them on the open road.
Unsolicited Opinions: Now I love this about DC and other places in Yankeeland. Every cabbie, every cop, every doorman, every waiter, every pedestrian waiting at the bus stop has a strong political opinion and eager to share it with who ever is half-way listening. I wish Texas were more like that, but that’s just not the “southern way.” It is considered private, and rude to discuss it unless you are with peers whom you are positive share the same views.
Anti-Smoking “Soap-Boxers”: We only encountered two assholes while in Washington and both where anti-smoking bastards. The first time this happened we were sitting off the National Mall (near the Smithsonian) and away from other folks. A middle-aged black man started pacing back-and-forth in front of us loudly chanting incorrect stats on secondhand smoke. Neither of us said anything in response…just longer drags. The second time it happened, we were in a non-smoking Italian bistro off DuPont Circle. My friend went to the bathroom and set her pack of smokes on the table. (NOTE: She was not smoking them. She needed something out of her backpack and set them on the table while digging in her bag.) Anyway, a haggish-looking twentysomething woman started directly and forcefully confronting me on why the cigarettes where sitting on the table. I unleashed on her ass. She and her friends quickly got up and left. It’s a bit of a catch-22 for me. I love how people openly express their opinions, but I get highly pissed when strangers feel like they can lecture me.
The Metro: Is it just me or does it seem like there aren’t enough stops on the Metro? Nevertheless, the DC subway system is hands-down the nicest and cleanest I have ever been on.
Protesters: I LOVED seeing protesters in Washington. It’s just a beautiful example of everything I love about my country. (However, the Da Vinci Code protesters were a bit annoying. Newflash: It’s a work of fiction! The more hype they generate protesting the movie, the more people will want to see it. Duh!)
Assumed Red: Naturally, most people we met in DC asked where we from. And naturally when we said Texas they immediately thought we were Bush-lovin’-Republicans. Umm, No! I am blue trapped in red. It’s always entertaining to hear ridiculous stereotypes.
So, let me set the record straight while I am on this topic:
Yes, I am a proud native Texan.
No, I do not own a horse. In fact, I haven’t been on a horse since I was 5-years old (and that was at a petting zoo).
No, I do not drive a big ass pick-up truck.
No, I do not listen to country music. In fact, I detest it.
Yes, I do know how to two-step.
No, I do not line dance. (Stupid, stupid, stupid!)
No, I do not wear a cowboy hat or boots.
No, I do not have much of an accent.
Yes, I do have all of my teeth.
No, I am not a racist.
No, I am not a homophobe.
No, I am not a political conservative.
Anyway, I am proud of our nation’s capitol, and I am so glad I finally went to visit. The entire city and it’s residents were friendly and beautiful.
Oh, and I wouldn’t be a true Texan if I failed to mention that our state capitol in Austin is larger than the federal capitol in DC. (Sorry, that’s a state law!)
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